book review: “Click: the magic of instant connections”

Yesterday I finished reading “Click; the magic of instant connections” by; a short book that flows easily. Yet this is the first book I’ve read in awhile where I can’t offer an unqualified recommendation for others to read. The information is valuable and the outline-style illustration format helps the reader keep it organized.


My criticism is narrowly focused: I did not feel that the authors Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman and their Crown Publishing editor, worked hard enough for us, the readers, to help the flow and sharpen the examples in this short book. If we were to remove the meat of the academic information (i.e. the stuff in the outline) what’s left would resemble a Seinfeld show about nothing other than the meandering of the authors while preparing the book. I felt that the editor should have pushed the authors harder to sharpen those passages to help us cement these important ideas. Still, the message is extremely valuable to those who seek to make the most of the relationships present each day.


This is a summary of my margin notes:


Terms –

“Quick set intimacy”

“High self-monitors” – fluid, quick incorporation, act as social hubs


Five accelerators:

1.    Vulnerability – progress through phases from thought-oriented to emotional level:

a.    Phatic

b.    Factual

c.     Evaluative

d.    Gut level

e.    Peak

2.    Proximity – exponential attraction through spontaneous communications and passive contacts

3.    Resonance – connecting with those around us

4.    Similarity – “the seductive power of similarity”

a.    Doubles favorable response rate

b.    Proven significance in $ value of relationship

                                       i.    Artificial extreme closeness (deception) is highly effective

5.    Safe Place


Make ourselves more present with others

Power is contagious



        Modern life triggers of depression


Shared adversity

        Can be created in a “sweat lodge setting”

        Frame creates community

        Frame amplifies other accelerators

o   Circles force vulnerability


Effect of community on work:

        Team performance is enhanced in this sequence:

o   Click happens

o   Individuals leave comfort zone

o   Increased passion

§  Conflict at this stage does not deter perormance

o   Increased performance

        High self-monitors say clicking “makes life really fun”


Mirroring other people draws people to us (p 163)


A “Click” is a gift and a blessing.


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